The Big Green Bookshop Awards for 2007

Simon;

I'm Melting, i'm meltling, who ever thought that a little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!

Welcome to this star studded event, and without further ado, lets get on with proceedings.

The Otis Ferry Award for Best Protest ;
Kumari Salgado for organising the marvellous demo outside the Waterstone's in Wood Green on the day it closed

The Napoleon Boiler Parts Award for best Suggestion for our Shop's Name;
Funny Bunny Bookshop
notable enries included 'Waterstone's 2 (this time it's personal)', 'Look, Book!' and the completely reasonable 'Every book in the World'.

The Northern Rock Award for Investment;
Lloyds Bank for trusting the pair of us with their money

The John Darwin Award for Loss of Memory;
the present occupier of our shop to be, who forgot to turn up at the Estate Agents every Friday for 4 weeks when he was due to sign papers.

The Sue Pollard Award for Distinguished Service In the Field of Fashion;
Timothy 'Wild, Wild' West, and his magnificent waistcoats and cowboy hat.

The Steve Mclaren Award for being Hoplessly Out of Their Depth;
Colleen McLoughlin who will need to learn how to write so she can do her books for the chains to sell at 3 for 2.

The Mister Magoo award for Short-sightedness;
The Individual who decided to close the waterstone's in Wood Green in spite the shop destroying it's budgets.

The 'Heat' award for celebrity spotted in Glamorous Wood Green Waterstone's
the Genius that is Stewart Lee (the 41st best ever stand-up), checking out the biography section (probably trying to find something that didn't involve abuse).

The UKIP award for a total misguided waste of time;
Morrison's selling Harry Potter 7 at £4.99, and for trying to make us believe that Lulu and Alan Hansen are mates.

The Gordon Brown award for promising more than was delivered;
Amazon for the Kindle thingy

and finally the highlight of the evening

The Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble award for patience under immense pressure.
Julie and Katie, our better halves, who have encouraged and supported us despite everything.
Thankyou both so much and we promise it will be worth it.

that concludes the ceremony. Look out for our predictions for 2008, coming soon.