Well, that's one more thing sorted out then.

Simon,

Every time someone pays for something with a card in a shop or a bar for example, and uses one of those machines where you have to tap in your pin number, that shop or bar has to pay a certain amount of that to the company that provides them with the machine. That's why some shops have signs up saying 'no cards accepted less than £10' or summat like that.
Anyway, a nice man came round to Simon and Katie Mansions this morning to try and persuade us to use their machines for the Big Green Bookshop. He looked like Father Ted. He seemed very confident, I suspect even more so when he saw a scruffy unshaved git with no shoes on answer the door. So with the kettle on and pleasantries out of the way, we got round to talking turkey.

'Have you had any other quotes from anywhere else?' he enquired.
'One or two' I replied.
'Oh, I don't think they'll be anywhere near as competitive as ours...can I have a look', he continued
'by all means', I smiled, and gave him the quote that we'd got from our friends at Leading Edge.

His smile slowly fell from his face as he saw the figures on the page in front of him. He eventually pulled himself together enough to murmur phrases with the words 'hidden charges', 'monthly charges going up' and most tellingly 'with us, what you see is what you get'. The thing is what I saw was somebody who realised there was no way he could match the offer we'd already been given.
I dutifully wrote down all the things he said about the dangers of going for anyone other than him, and told him i'd make sure that I wouldn't fall into any of these traps.
He finished his coffee and headed off back to Craggy Island, I presume.

Well done me.