Last Friday at the Big Green Bookshop, I sent an email to all our stores to let them know that we'd be making an official announcement, and that all staff should be in today at 10am. A password protected email ws sent to us and we would be given the password before the announcement was made.
Tim and I dutifully turned up this morning (obviously we were quite nervous). I sent an email with the password to myself and we opened the message.
The message read.
'I am speaking to you from my private island in the Carribean and apologise for not being there in person.
As the Big Green Bookshop continues to progress and embrace new technology and systems, we will inevitably have to make some tough decisions. Some of these will be welcomed with open arms (my big fat bonus last year for example, and also my nomination in the Bookseller for Hero of the Year), but others will be questioned. However in order to progress, we.. sorry, you have to be brave.
As you know, we will shortly be introducing a new biscuit rota, in which instead of all of us buying biscuits from lots of different places, including local shops and smaller but better quality biscuit producers we will now buy all our biscuits from Lidl. The range will be worse and the quality of the packing will no doubt lead to lots of damaged biscuits, but the savings we can make at the expense of others will be massive. I've no doubt by making this decision, i'll be getting another fat bonus this year too.
This unfortunately means that those of you who unpack the various packets of biscuits now will no longer be required to do this. Over the next 3 months there will be a consultation period in which we will endeavour to find other jobs for you to do (overseeing the washing up rota for example), however there may now be periods of the day when you will have to sit in the office and play pacman instead.
I realise that when we told you initially about the biscuit rota changes, it was stressd that this was being introduced to free more time up to deal with customers and 'get selling'. But I didn't think I would be getting as big a bonus if you this happened, so I changed my mind. To be honest, i'm surprised any of you noticed.
Please let me stress once again that I got a huge bonus last year, and am likely to get another one this year too.
Wish you were here...'
Tim and I are speculating what effect this will have on our teabreaks and morale is really low at the moment. But i'm sure the powers that be have our best interests at heart......oh, and our customers of course.