Do Butterflies Belch?

Simon;

When I were a lad, I came across an author called Mark Leyner. I'm not quite sure how, but it had something to do with working in a big bookshop at the time. The book I came accross was called 'My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist'. Perhaps it was the title that drew me to it. Any road up, I picked it up, and started reading it. It blew my mind.
I was used to reading books that had a story, a meaning, a pattern. This didn't. It was chaos, and confusion. It was anarchy as far as I was concerned. I loved it. There was science fiction laced with body building, murder, and sushi. 'Surreal humour for the MTV generation' I imagine Paul Morley calling it.
I was hooked. I found another of his books, 'et tu babe', and once again he weaved his words and pretty much destroyed my ideas about how we should read.
I have to point out that this was about 14 years ago (I was 14 years younger than I am now), but I still have those books, and others by him, which I love and cherish.
The reason I mention the great Mark Leyner is that.. you know those books that sell really well over xmas, 'why do men have nipples' and 'why do men fall asleep after sex'. He co-wrote them. I realised this a few months ago, and sort of internally raised my eyebrows (if you know what I mean).
I decided to check his backlist today (cult fiction,you see) and to my amazement there's nothing available in the UK!



Here they are. Two of Mark's books( I found a bus ticket in 'I smell Esther Williams' on page 140. Apparently I was on the 91 and I was reading it on 14th September 1995). I also have 'Dream date with Di', another freakshow of a book. I urge you to have a look at Mark Leyner.
I hope he'll be re-issued this year, 'cos i'm missing 'Toothprints On a Corndog', and I also think he's a bit of a star.

Cult Fiction

Simon;

I mentioned Cult Fiction last week in a post, and I wonder what the concensus is?
In the past I've been fairly positive about the idea of a cult fiction section. It was a chance to perhaps highlight stuff that would otherwise be left on the shelf, to coin a phrase. I remember Richard Brautigan and Charles Bukowski amongst others jostling for space in the section. It works well in a shop with a large fiction section.

But is it necessary in The Big Green whotsit though. If we were stocking shelves of Wilbur Smith, Patrick O'Brien, Bernard Cornwell etc, it would make sense to separate (or highlight) titles that we consider cult. The thing is, we're only little, despite the name, and it might be one subsection too far.

What constitutes nowadays as cult fiction. Anything that isn't on Richard and Judy? Anything that hasn't been 3 for 2d at the local biggie? The moment anything seems to be taking off, the reaction of the chains is to stick it in a promotion. Does this mean it's no longer a cult title, by it's very definition.
If that's the case, then The Dice man, One flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Post Office, Siddhartha, On the Road and many more can no longer be considered cult titles. But they are to many people.

I don't know, do you?

The News..as it happens!

Simon;

9.00 Tim phones Solicitor. There's some problem with the format of one of the documents. Rather than a letter of consent, it needed to have been an official questionnaire that was filled in. Apparently this unfilled form was sent by our solicitor twice (TWICE mind )to the people concerned to fill in, but it seems that both times it didn't arrive.

9.15 Tim phones our small business advisor. She agrees to find out whether our bank really needs this questionaire. She will call Tim back this morning. Tim will give her until 10.30 to reply....

9.48 The postman arrives at Tim's house with deeds, searches and stuff like that. This is fairly encouraging. Tim and Simon (who really should turn that frown upside-down) discuss when they should go and see the solicitor to sign these things and arrange an exchange date.

10.40 Had a great chat with Hereward Corbett, who's opening his own bookshop in Tetbury. He gave me more advice than I gave him, i fear.

11.20 I get a call from some other sign makers who I contacted about the sign for the shop. I email them the font.

11.30 I call Tim. He's chased our business advisor andleft a message on her phone. We decide that I should call her on the half hour, and he should call her on the hour.

11.32 I leave a message for her.

11.42 The facebook 'free books' offer has finished and I've got some books to send off to the people who've agreed to do reviews for the shop. (you've got to be in it to win it!)

12.05 Our small business advisor calls me. Apparently they do need the official questionnare. I ask if they'll accept a fax with the understanding that an original will follow. She says yes. I call Tim, who now has to call the people who have to fill this in and tell them to expect a fax of this form from our solicitor. He then has to call the solicitor and get him to fax the form. I suggest that Tim should ask our solicitor to call him back the moment the fax has been sent (just to be sure mind you).

12.12 Simon call a PDQ company to get a quote for a portable credit card reader. 'we'll get someone to phone you back'...

12.23 Simon put's on Bromheads Jacket 'Dits from the Commuter Belt' and whacks up the volume.

12.40 E-mailed an author to request an interview for the blog.

12.55 The PDQ company phoned back, and arranged to meet us to talk about exciting stuff like credit card charges. They seem fairly competitive.

1.00 Tim has lunch
1.00 Simon has lunch

1.32 Simon checked in with Tim. Tim has called the geezers who need to fill in the questionnaire and they said they can accept a fax. The processing of this will take 48 hours. Mmmm. Tim phones our solicitor to get him to fax the form over to be filled in.

1.40 Simon phones the small business advisor. He leaves a message about what's happening, and also tells her that Tim has asked our solicitor to send all the other forms to her Head Office for processing now to save time. So now all we're waiting for is this one document.
We agree that it would be good to see our solicitor on Wednesday afternoon or Thursday to go through the lease details, as that should coincide with the fax being returned to him, in theory.

I think that's all we can do for today about this.

2.15 Simon gets an e-mail back from the author, who say they'd be happy to do an interview.

The Hopelessness of Others (continued)

Simon,
I'm not perfect. In fact i'm far from it. But i've reached a point of utter disbelief at the pathetic hopelessness of certain people who we're relying on to get this shop open. My first bit of advice to anyone who's thinking about opening their own shop. If your estate agent recommends a solicitor, I would suggest you IGNORE THEM. Ask friends instead. It seems pretty obvious now, but when we had the offer on the shop accepted 3 bloody months ago, there was no reason to think that this was going to be a problem. It is. That's all i'm saying. Our hands are tied at the moment, so any advice now is appreciated, but too late. We are still waiting for a letter to be posted that we thought had been sent before Christmas.
This is bad enough, but then we arranged to meet the signmakers outside the shop on Friday to show them what we wanted. They didn't show up....
Although this isn't a massive thing in itself, I think it was the thing that tipped me over the edge. I sort of lost it.
I spoke to Tim yesterday, and, once again, he's going to talk to the solicitor on Monday. It's not that I can't talk to him myself, but the stuff that needs posting is Tim's stuff, so it's got nothing to do with me. Tim, although a lot calmer than me, is equally pissed off and I hope he hounds those responsible all morning until this thing is ready to post. I then hope that we make sure it's posted by picking it up ourselves, as then we can be sure that it's done, rather than assume that it's done because we been told it will be. I'm probably especially pissed off because,
a. I'm running out of money and we're only paying each other £400 a month at the moment, and
b. i'm thinking about being a Father in July and I naturally want to get everything up and running and settled well before then.

On a more cheery note, Katie saw a mouse in our bathroom yesterday.

Facebook

Simon,

I've noticed recently how versatile facebook can be, and what a great marketing tool it is. The Notting Hill branch of waterstone's have a group on there where all the events and signings are listed, and all the members are contacted when something groovy happens there.
When we started this opening a bookshop lark I started a facebook group called A Decent Bookshop In Wood Green (revisited). It was initially created to let the people who signed the petition to stop the Waterstone's in Wood Green closing know what we were up to, but I also used it to request peoples favourite books during Children's Book Week. I don't update it very often, but have decided that it's time I used it more effectively. There are as I type this 195 members, which is brilliant! Once we open, like Notting Hill, we'll be able to let all the members know about any events or signings, and although the benefits of this will be for our local customers, it might also be useful if you wanted a signed copy of a book and didn't live nearby.
We'll also be using the site to advertise offers, discuss books, ask peoples opinions on bookshop stuff (I cant work out where the apostrophe should go in peoples, so I've left it out), and also have exclusive facebook book offers which are only available to the facebook members. It can also be an advertising post for people who want to let the world know about a favourite book or their own book!
So, what I wondered is whether you'd be so kind as to join the group and invite you're facebook friends to join as well. I understand that the biggest bookshop group on facebook is The Book cafe with over 1300 members. On a purely selfish level i'd love it if we got somewhere close to that! Just click on this link to get to the group and press the join button. If you haven't got a facebook account, now's your chance. You never know, it might open up a whole new world of fun and frolics.
If you have any other ideas for how our facebook group can be used let us know.

Over and out

Blog 101

Simon

As the final negotiations continue to drag on, and because i've had a lttle break over Christmas, i've been able to catch up on some of the books that I've been lucky enough to get recently. As i've been in bookselling since Highway To heaven first premiered on NBC, it's been an odd experience not to be surrounded by the gorgeous little things. Despite what people tell you about bookselling being hard work, it's an honour to be able to see and read pretty much anything that you like (not on company time mind you), and I miss it badly.

So to be sent these wonderful books has been a real treat for me, and I intend to give all the books i'm sent a chance. So thanks.

There have been a couple recently that have really stood out for different reasons. One isn't published yet, but one is. The Crowded Bed by Mary Cavanagh (transita 9781905175314)


I started reading this on Sunday, and to be honest I wasn't sure if it was my kind of thing. But I was so wrong. This book is a belter. I was hooked and devoured it in 2 sittings.
From the prologue, in which we watch Joe Fortune (our 'hero') murdering his father-in-law, we're then transported back to Joe's childhood. And there begins the story of how we get to his crime. The strength of the writer lies in her ability to take us from the past to the present and back again and still hold the story together so cleverly that you just have to know what happens next. I was both delighted to get to the end and sad that i'd finished it. This book has been picked up and recommended by Mostly Books amongst others, and rightly so. This is going eye level on our Big Green Favourites bookcase from day 1.

I'd also like to thank Fusion Press for sending me a copy of From Here To Paternity, the diary of a pregnant man' bt Andrew Cullen, within 3 days of me writing that Katie and I are going to be parents for the first time. Katie got to it first, and really enjoyed it. It's a lot more realistic than Jools Oliver, I understand. I started reading it last night, so i'm up to week 11 at the moment.

I've done a guest blog for Little Brown about the different relationship we'll have with reps now that we're a little Indie bookshop. I hope it's interesting.

I'm off to a launch party tonight. Testament by Alis Hawkins will be toasted this evening in the glamourous West End of London so raise a glass to this new author. She has a very good blog as well.

And lastly today, Cult Fiction. I want to have a section in the shop, but what constitutes cult fiction. Bukowski? Tom Robbins? Murakami? or have they become to mainstream to be considered cult now. Just a thought, which i'll pick up next week.

100 Blogs Later

'We're going to open our own bookshop in Wood Green. And this is going to be our story. We have the passion, the determination, and we also have a little bit of business acumen. With a little help, it might just work. It'll make for compelling reading whatever happens. We would love any advice, words of encouragement or money that you can spare, and we'll do our best to be as honest in this blog as possible.'
this is the last paragraph of our first post back in September. Back then it seemed a long way from reality. It still fu#@ing does some days, but we have come a long way. I rather naively thought we'd be open by November originally, but if you've followed the story, you'll know we've had one or two hiccups on the way. Landlords, solicitors, estate agents, banks, building societies and maybe us occasionally have done things that have delayed the final outcome. I'd like to be more sure about when we're going to open, but I'm not going to tempt fate. Tim is battling away with all the money men (I'm not allowed to talk to them any more, as I'm a bit shouty sometimes), and we should have some very good news very soon.
We've listened to lots of wise people and taken lots of advice over the last 4 months, and to celebrate reaching the 100 blog milestone we'd like to give some of that back. So here, for your delictation, we offer you 70 ways to keep in the news despite not having opened. We thought about doing 100, but come on, isn't 70 enough ?
1. Start a Blog.
2. Tell the local paper
3. Get in touch with the Bookseller
4. Steal your friends mobile and text all their contacts
5. Hide in a cupboard in Ikea and leap out at people shouting the name of your company. Particularly good if your company happens to be called "Yarg"
6. Wear a t-shirt
7. Write an e-mail to that nice man Scott Pack and ask if you can be a guest writer on his mighty mighty blog 'Me and My Big Mouth'.
8. Call up a radio phone-in with a spurious link to the subject being discussed. "..... Yes the war in Iran is a terrible thing. I was reading about it in the Big Green Bookshop... "
9. Make a Facebook Group. (please join)
10. Wear a noticable Hat
11. Wear a Badge
12. Sit in a studio audience wearing your t-shirt, badge and noticable hat
13. E-mail newspapers, they might run your story
14. E-mail magazines, they might run your story
15. Talk to your local schools
16. Stick up posters in your local schools
17. Attend every school fete (wearing your noticable hat)
18. Talk to the Local MP
19. Involve Your Community
20. Don't let anything distract you
21. I said don't let anything distract you!
22. Do a figure of eight dance (This is good enough for bees)
23. Paint your backside purple (This works for babboons)
24. Find out who your local authors are. Their support can really help.
25. Actually they don't have to be local.
26. Dedicate one hour every day to marketing
27. Try and reply to all your e-mails and phone calls.
28. If someone asks for help always try and help. Imagine if it was the other way round.
29. Knock on doors (Don't look too smart or people will think you're a Jehova's Witness. Don't look too scruffy or people will think you're selling dusters. Don't wear overalls)
30. Invite Jehova's Witnesses into your house and pass on the word of the Bookshop (This is a good way of frightening Jehova's Witnesses, as they've never been in anybodys' house before)
31. Stick up posters on the outside of your old (closed) shop. (This may not be applicable for everyone)
32. Join your local residents association. These are going to be your customers, and also imagine how many people they'll tell!
33. Print out some leaflets and deliver them door to door.
34. Leave them in your friendly local shops
35. Slip a few leaflets inside books in your local WH Smith.
36. Find out who all your local reps are going to be, and contact them.
37. Is someone else doing a similar thing. Share.
38. Has someone else done a similar thing. Ask for advice.
39. Get your readers to make your decisions for you
40. Tell your friends
41. Ask for Stuff
42. Celebrate Your Product. It's worth celebrating if your product is books
43. Re-email all the people you've e-mailed before.
44. Tell Chuggers (CH arity m UGGERS) "... Actually I don't have two minutes to discuss (insert cause here) But I do have twenty minutes or so to talk about my Bookshop..."
45. Persuade Big Issue sellers to shout 'Big green bookshop' instead.
46. Put a link to your blog on every e-mail you send.
47. Tell Local Councillors
48. Build a Tardis (Strictly speaking this is not a viable way to advertise your company, unless it works. In which case just think of the opportunities.... you could have your logo indelibly graffittied on the Great Wall of China... or add a line to any book of the bible, eg: Exodus 10:20 And two merchants shall set forth into the Green Wood. And one shall speak unto the other. And he shall say "wouldn't it be a fine idea if we opened our own bookshop?" And the other shall spake the words "Wow, yeah"... You could get Nostradamus off drugs and tell him what's REALLY going to happen.... )
49. put Posters in your windows
50. Do you think we'll get to 70?







51. Keep the suspense going. Like a good book people will want to get to the end.
52. Have I mentioned contacting local schools yet?
53. Organise author events for when you do open.
54. Talk to Local Shops (it would be more effective to talk to the people in the shops really)
55. Get in touch with your Local Council, they may be able to help more than you think
56. Tell your local librbary. They can (and have) offered an amazing amount of help.
57. Find where your local reading groups meet and let them know.
58. Contact big publishers, who mostly are very helpful.
59. Search for fellow bloggers with similar interests. I've noticed we're quite a tight-knit. bunch.
60. Print business cards
61. Leave them in cafes, pubs, libraries, pretty much anywhere.
62. Offer prizes at local events.
63. Let Your Emotions show
64. But not too much
65. read other peoples blogs and nick their ideas. (admit it, we all do it)
66. Get in touch with magazines and offer to do an article for them. They might ask you to be a regular contributor.
67. Find other people with the same name as you, and ask for their help. It really works.
68. Ask everyone who reads this to either mention it in their blog or else add us as a link (Please)
69. Be honest.
70. Always say Thanks.

Thanks. If you have any more ideas, feel free to share them.

Same Old Same Old.

Simon,

Until our solicitor comes back from his Xmas holiday tomorrow (17 days), no progress can be made. We are just 2 pieces of paper away from completion, and we don't know if our solicitor has these pieces of paper or not. Let's hope so, eh...
I'm finally getting to the end of our opening order. I know I said that a couple of weeks ago, but I keep going back to add/take things away. I know it could drive me mad, but I figure that it's worth spending a bit of extra time over it, whilst we wait for the keys.
I've got two reps appointments this week, and I'm going to a book launch. It's almost like I work in a bookshop isn't it. We'll it would be if one of the appointments wasn't at 8.45 tomorrow morning.
I haven't yet been to Tim's to put the bookshelves up, as Friday turned into a day where other things took over. Tim spent a long time trying to sort out why some documents that were sent to Glasgow apparently weren't there, and then seemed to turn up in Birmingham. Nevertheless, the good news was that they reached the right people in the end.
I spent a bit more time sorting out our credit accounts with various distributors, and doing some other secret stuff of which we can tell you all about very soon.

This is our 99th Blog entry. We've discussed ways to celebrate reaching our little milestone, so don't forget to come back for that. It might be alright.

Our Day Out To Ikea

Simon:

Today, as a treat, me and Tim decided to head off to Ikea to lookat some fixtures and fittings. We'd already decided that we were going to get the bookshelves for the shop from here, and decided to buy a couple of test bookcases in order for us to make sure that we could display the stock in an attractive way.

Ikea Joke 1


We plumped for Ikea for a couple of reasons. When we did our opening budget, we'd put aside around £12K for fixtures and fittings, as we'd got a couple of quotes (I have to say the quotes varied wildly, but I guess it's difficult to be accurate when you're given sketchy information), but after checking a few places, we realised that we could probably do it for a lot less. We realise that ideally we'd have professional bespoke shelving with all the bells and whistles, and that 's certainly something we'll consider in the future. But as a new business, we need to save every penny we can. We know that there are other indies out there who have used Ikea for their shelving, and it looks great, so I don't think well be compromising too much

Ikea Joke 2


Anyway, neither Tim or I drive (what!?, this is the 21st century), so we enlisted the help of Tim's brother John, who kindly took us in his car without any moaning whatsoever. It transpired as we passed the bathroom sinks, that he was going again with another friend tomorrow. I think he likes Ikea a little too much. It must be the meatballs.

Ikea Joke 3


I'm very proud to say we only strayed from the path once, and that was to pick up some lightbulbs. Temptations at every turn, but we were strong. We had a job to do and we did it.
We obviously went in to the 'bargain corner', to see if there was any nice pieces of wood to tap with our knuckles and nod appreciatively at, but again we resisted all it could thrust at us.

Ikea Joke 4


So 2 bookcases for less than £100. Not a bad days work. Tim and I will have a Generation Game style game to see who can put theirs up the quickest tomorrow. 'give us a twirl Anthea', 'Lovely lovely', 'good game,', 'shut that door' etc etc

Maybe some photos...

Yes sir, that's my baby.

Simon;

I'm allowed to tell you now. It has nothing to do with the bookshop, (and everything to do with the bookshop) and will certainly inspire me to sell as many books as possible between now and June. Katie and I are having a baby!! I think that deserved 2 exclamation marks. We had the 12 week scan today (well 13 weeks and 6 days actually) and everything's normal. Perfectly perfectly normal. The baby is due on July 3rd and I have never been happier about anything, ever. Not even Bristol City's awesome form has made me this happy. We saw it kicking Katie's bladder this morning on the scan, and we also saw it's heartbeat and i'm sure it waved to us, but I might have been wrong about the last bit.
Isn't it gorgeous

It looks like it's going to be a good year.