Scary Teddys.....Oh Yes

Imagine being stared at by a teddy-bear with buttons for eyes. Got it?

Now imagine that it's an evil teddy. Really, really evil......

What happens next?

That's what pupils at North Harringay School had to do for a competition to win Big Green Bookshop Vouchers. And here are the two winners.

I have with-held their names to protect you. These are two twisted kids.

Here's the first one...

The Mysterious buttons surrounded me. What are they doing to me? I tried to escape but there were creatures everywhere.

And buttons......

The Light shone up like a miracle had happened. The light dimmed again. The eyes were coming to hunt me....

I ducked down as the eyes tried to catch me. I dodged again and again.

“What do you want from me? I’m innocent. Please don’t hurt me.”

The stinky creatures came up from their graveyard and all the dead

people (such as Henry VIII)

The light shone again and time went back to how it was. Moving and moving. Ticking and tocking until a minute later.

Then time stopped again and everybody stood still, and everybody stared. Hard.

Who was everybody staring at? No. Eyes (or should I say the buttons?)

“Give us time back, before I make you!!” I shouted angrily. “Give us it now.”

And so he did, and life went back to peace again.

But not for long....

Ooooooooooh, Scary stuff! (This is actually a picture of me in the morning)

This is the second teddy based suspense story....

My head was spinning. I could see nothing but darkness. I felt so sick like I had just been on a whirling fast rollercoaster. Help! Where was I?

“Hello,” I whispered. “Hello,” I called, slightly louder.

“Hello.” The dark place echoed.

I could tell that I was inside, but I definitely saw stars. (It’s not a figment of my imagination) It must be an open roof. I (very cautiously) got up.

“Halt,” said a strange, low pitched voice. This was bare freaky, no actually, it was beyond freaky. I shrieked at the top of my voice. “Buttons!”

More of them. “Get him,” they said. Breaking the silence.

I started to run, but (even more strange) I didn’t go anywhere....

I couldn’t believe my eyes, not until I opened them. “Oh,” I said. I was so surprised that it was just a dream. That spoke out loud.

“Darling,” said Mum. I have sewed some more buttons on your school uniform. I hope you don’t mind.....”

This is the scariest teddy bear I could find.

More about my beard later

First Among Equals

Means best, really. Doesn’t it?

We issued our first loyalty cards a couple of weeks ago. And it was brilliant.....

But someone has to be first, don’t they. Really, really first. In front of everyone else. Seb Coe when we still liked him. Front of the queue. Numero Uno. A number one. Top of the heap. King of the hill. Etc, etc.

Anyway.

This lovely lady was our first ever customer back in March 2008.

And this lovely lady is our first Loyalty Card holder.

Wait a minute.... Isn’t that?... Yes. It’s the same person. And I’m wearing the same watch.

This is Aysha, and – apart from being our first ever customer – she has been a loyal supporter of the shop ever since. In the last couple of years she has had a number of other firsts. She got married to Jonny and changed her name (not to Jonny, I hasten to add) she let us use her kitchen to mull wine for our first Christmas party, and she had baby Lily (the last two are not connected).

The loyalty card is really taking off, and we have already signed up over two hundred people. We have decided to have some kind of loyalty card celebration/offer/event when we hit Five Hundred.

More about my watch, grey hair and beard later.

'And it's Shakespeare to take the final Penalty...'

Since the start of the World Cup a couple of weeks ago it’s been hard to walk down any street without seeing a flag or two flying. A bit like this one here:

And they haven’t just been England flags either, but that’s beside the point: Football is a stimulator of national pride. If England had lost today, pub and armchair commentators would have had much to say, but still every fan would have been there to watch and cheer when England played again. Of course, England have now made it to the next stage of this World Cup, so phew! and Hurrah! etc, but what else can we be proud of as a nation? Here I turn over to the inspiration for this entry, P.D. James who celebrates her 90^th Birthday this year:

In a recent speech, in her role as President of the Society of Authors, P.D. James said: “Literature is the art for which we have always been most famous. Produced the greatest paintings or the greatest music, but we have produced the greatest poet who ever lived – Shakespeare.”

I have no idea if P.D. James is a football fan and there’s no disrespect intended here but Shakespeare is only the start. Now let’s see who else can we send out on to the pitch to represent the best of English Literature. First choice is obvious Shakespeare (Team Captain,) E.M. Forster, (Goal) Charles Dickens (Left Wing or Striker) Jane Austen (I don’t know any more positions,) Samuel Johnson, T.S. Eliot, Charlotte Bronte, Jonathan Coe, Sarah Waters, Ted Hughes, and finally D.H. Lawrence.

These are my choices and now I turn it over to you our loyal readers – anyone you think I’ve missed out or should be relegated to the subs bench? Do let us know. Speaking of Loyalty, don’t forget that our new Loyalty Card launches this Saturday – do read Tim’s entry below for more information.

Loyal, Faithful, Devoted, True

So true, funny how it seems. Always in time, but never in line for dreams. Head over..... Ahem, sorry got distracted there.

We have been gone from the blogging world for a while. Simon & Mark have been tweeting or twittering, or hooting like deranged owls or something. But now we are back with a Loyalty Card. (loyalty cards are so much nicer than vengeance)

Since we opened the Big Green Bookshop, we've been overwhelmed by the support and help that's been offered by people who understood the importance of having a decent bookshop in Wood Green. Many of our customers we now consider friends and we'd like to say thanks for your continued support.

Which is why, on Saturday June 26th we're having a day of unmitigated fun and we're introducing The Big Green Bookshop Loyalty Card.

The Card works on a points system, so for every £5 you spend in the bookshop you'll get a point. These points will give you money off books you buy in the future. It's all quite simple, and the card is available to everyone.

We want to make it a special event, so on Saturday 26th we're having the big launch. The first 50 customers to pick up the Card will be entitled to double points on their first purchase and also they'll get at least one chocolate hobnob.

Cardholders will also be able to take advantage of special offers that we'll be offering throughout the year, so it's well worth picking one up.

So please come along on Saturday, it'll be lovely to see you.

Saturday the 26^th is also my birthday, and I am going to my cousins’ wedding. So unfortunately I won’t be there. But if anyone wants to bring me some cake I am sure that Simon and Mark will save it for my return. Oh yes.

Goody Gumdrops

We're doing something rather exciting.
There's a lovely toy and gift shop in Crouch End, called Goody Gumdrops.
This is what it looks like
From Saturday April 24th, there's going to be a mini Big Green Bookshop in it! Yes, we're going to have a dedicated Childrens book section in the shop and we're all pretty flippin' excited about it.
So much so that Debbie (for it is she who owns Goody Gumdrops) and us are going to have a rather massive party to celebrate. Here's a poster...
EMMA CHICHESTER CLARK!!! she's responsible for these wonderful books among others;

And it wouldn't be a Big Green Bookshop celebration without Maisy would it?
There'll be goody bags for the first fifty book purchasers and also we've got fairy cakes.
The fun starts at midday and lasts until the end of time.

Month Off

Hello, it's been a while hasn't it.
I decided to take a month off from the blog, as it was beginning to feel more like a chore than the fun fun fun it set out to be. With Ollie being born, this has taken up a lot of my time (in the nicest possibble way), and it seemed like the best time to take a break.
Anyway, i'm back now, so you'll just have to put up with this nonsense again.

So, what's going on in the shop? Well quite a lot actually.

• You know all about the Bloggers Book of the Month. Well that's going from strength to strength and the Bloggers are choosing some really interesting titles. One or two of the choices haven't sold, but all in all it's been a really popular display.
• We're going to hold a Literary Festival in July in Wood Green. We're at a VERY early stage of organising this, but the idea is to make this a real community based event. We've had a very positive response to this so far and we're going to be pulling the strands together next week. If anyone feels the urge to offer their services, follow that urge and get in touch.
• We've organised some beastly thing called The Hackney Horror Show. We've hired out a theatre in Stoke Newington (that's in Hackney) and we've persuaded 3 top kids horror writers to put on a show for what will hopefully be 250 excitable teenagers. The horror writers in question are William Hussey , Sam Enthoven and Steve Feasey. This will be held on Friday April 23rd at 7.00pm and it's going to be awesome. It'll be a free event and everyone is welcome. There'll be more details next week on the website, so look out for that.
• We had a lovely time selling books at the Middlesex University Literary Festival. Highlights for me were Laura Dockrill, Simon Price and the magnificent Ramsey Campbell. I wish more people knew about it because it's a really good festival in a lovely venue.

there's other stuff too, but i'll save that for next week.

We had a 10% off everything day for people who follow us on Facebook and people who check out the website and also we've given away a few books on twitter, so if you want to get the full Big Green Experience then..
Twitter =@biggreenbooks
Facebook = A Decent Bookshop in Wood Green (revisited)
Website = Biggreenbookshop.com

Not my best blogpost, but it takes a bit of time to warm up....stick with me.

Please Allow Me to Indulge myself

Hello,
may I introduce you to Ollie. He's now 2 days old and Katie and I are rather fond of him.

He was a bit of a whopper, weighing in at 9lbs 10oz, and Katie being somewhat petite, this was quite a surprise.

It was all a bit scary at one point, but it all turned out perfectly and we we're all home in time for tea on Tuesday.

He's now two days old and he can recite pi to ten decimal points and has been picked as a wildcard for Wimbledon this year.
Freya seems to like him too.

Please don't feel shy about sending free books or wine to the shop. Unlike Perks from the Railway children, we love it when people buy us things....

More later, but I thought you'd like to know.

More Purple Prose from North London's Most Exhausting Bookshop

It's the 8th Annual Wood Green International Film Festival between the 25th-28th March. Yes indeed, Wood Green has a film festival. Not just a little piddly one, but a rather splendid International one that filmmakers from all over the world come to showcase their films at.
We got involved last year and as well as sponsoring the award for best local short film, the amazing animation Crone directed by Mikey Please. (click to watch) we also turned the shop into a cinema every evening during the week the festival was on.

Tim was particularly agile on this day last year.And look at the size of those speakers.

We showed 4 films throughout the week to highlight that the festival was on and to encourage people to go along.
The choice of films was decided by a vote on this very blog (I was very disappointed that 'Metaphoric Enema', the seminal work by enfant terrible film director Vaz Slateman didn't get enough votes to be shown). So we've decided that as it worked so well last year, that we'd do it again. We'll be showing 3 films this year and we'd like you to choose 2 of them. Down the right of this blog you'll see a list of films. we'd like you to vote for the one that you'd like us to show in the bookshop during the week. The most popular 2 will be the ones that we show. Simple ain't it? I've designed it so you can only vote once this time ( I was a bit of a numpty last year....), so make sure that you're sure before you vote.

On the evenings we show the films we will be serving the finest wines available and possibly some Chocolate and raspberry pavlova

So there you have it. GET VOTING.

A Horror-fest. How Delicious

I've been lucky enough recently to have read these three cracking horror titles, aimed at kids. Two have just been published, and one is out in a few weeks time. The copies you see are proofs, and the finished book covers are even better than the ones here.
The First book is Invisible Fiends : Mr Mumbles by Barry Hutchison. Mr Mumbles was Kyle's imaginary friend when he was younger. Ahh, Mr Mumbles, with his floppy hat and coat and his jolly dance.
But Kyle's grown up now and no longer needs Mr Mumbles. But Mr Mumbles is back, and he's not so jolly any more. In fact he has every intention of killing Kyle.... Oh yes, did I mention that Mr Mumbles is called Mr Mumbles because he can't talk. The reason? His mouth is sewn together.
There's an brilliant back story involving Kyle's father, and there's also a kick ass goth sidekick called Ameena. I love the way there always seems to be less than a sliver of hope at the end of each chapter and then somehow...somehow something happens that means you can breathe again. The pace of the the book is furious and the author has clearly left lots of unanswered questions, so that it leaves the reader desparate for the next in the series. Excellent stuff.

The Next book is Witchfinder by William Hussey and is the first in a trilogy that's due to be published over the next year.
OK how's this for an opening gambit. Within the first 4 pages a child has his throat cut and by the time you've just caught your breath someone else (who I thought was going to be a major character) is decapitated.
This is a battle betwen good and evil that's been raging for centuries, and it seems that theres only one person, Jake, who can save earth from the apocalypse that's known simply as Demontide. Previously in order to stop this, a child had to be sacrificed and their blood smeared around the seal of a hidden doorway inside a cave. Jake's not too keen to be that child as i'm sure you'll undersatnd. William's ability to imagine such wild charactrers is praiseworthy indeed. Throughout the book you're never quite sure who's good and who's evil and at any minute you get the feeling someone could sabotage all of Jake's efforts to keep the demons at bay. I don't even want to think about the 'Cabinet'. Once again, the pace is electric and i'm already looking forward to part 2 (out in September).

Thirdly is Crawlers by Sam Enthoven.
Two groups of schoolkids on a trip to the Barbican to see a Shakespeare play are 'interupted' when gross blobs with octopus like tendrils fall from the ceiling of the theatre and start attaching themselves to members of the audience (not audiences members, this is a kids book), giving these creatures complete control over the human it's attached to. These are merely foot soldiers to a monster more deadly and dangerous than you can begin to imagine. Four girls and four boys manage to barricade themselves into a room before the 'crawlers' manage to attach onto them , and from here follows a desparate fight for survival. Throughout this book, which reads like a video game (or PSP game or whatever), there's the cleverly described rivalry between the boys for the well to do rich school and the girls from the less well off comprehensive, and some brilliant twists and turns which means you never quite know what's going to happen next. Why the Barbican? Where are all these creatures from? Is Tim growing his beard again? If you want to know the answers to these questions, apart from the third one, then you'll have to read the book. Which I sincerely hope you will.

So murders, creatures from your worst nighmares, zombies and hideous monsters who will (and maybe do) destroy the planet.
None of these authors are parsimonious in their descriptions of blood and guts nastiness that seems to happen in each of the books, and if parents or teachers are worried about letting their little dears read stuff like this, then I think they should reconsider. The writing is superb, the authors encourage us to use our imaginations and clearly don't underestimate their audience. Kids will be able to relate to the 'heroes' in the books. What teenager would be believable if, after some huge monster had whacked him aroud the face with a piece of wood, said 'ooh fiddlesticks, that smarts'?
I'm really keen that as many kids read as possible, and more than that, that they read because they WANT to read. You have to be extremely talented to be a kids author, and I would suggest that it's harder than ever now, when kids have so many more distractions. These books should have a appeal and will sell really well if bookshops stock 'em.
I don't expect teenagers to be swinging from chandeliers when the latest new book comes out, but it's refreshing and heart warming when you see how excited some of our younger customers get when they come to choose their next read.

And maybe some of you big kids out there might enjoy these books too. I certainly did, and i'm a high court judge.

Some publishers, eh?

Scholastic are a big publishing company. Huge. In fact, Scholastic Inc. is the world's largest publisher of children's books.
So you'd have thought that they would know better than to;
Exhibit A.


Put a big sticker on their books that says 'Ideal Christmas Present' that is so sticky that you can't get it off without 30 minutes of scrubbing with turpentine and gentle coaxing.
Waterstone's used to have a similar problem with those lovely orange stickers that they like to use. It took a number of top scientists several months to find a gum that was sticky enough to stick onto book covers, but not too sticky that you couldn't get it off. I know, because i've personally stickered and de-stickered tens of thousands of books in the name of marketing. So my advice to Scholastic is to get in touch with the Waterstone's scientists to find out what gum they use.
Exhibit B

Ah, 'Adult editions'. What this means is that the pulishers think that the book or series in question that was originally written for kids, has enough appeal to adults that they will now try and sell it as an adult book. And heaven forbid an adult would be seen reading a kids book, so they change the cover to look more grown up. Famous examples are Harry Potter, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time and The Boy in the Striped Jimjams.
Publishers don't mention that the price of a kids book is less than that of an adult book. So if you look really closely at the example above, you will see that the price of these new 'adult editions' will be £7.99. But if you check out the price of the edition that's available at the moment (the kids edition), you'll find it's £6.99. So what's likely to happen is that the price of the kids edition will go up too. Boo. Boo. Boo.

In their defence, Scholastic publish this.

Barry Hutchison will be the topic of my next post, which will be much more positive. Unless he isn't the topic. And then it'll be something else.