Friday, July 17, 2009

Not Trumps

I had this idea once of combining Top Trumps, authors and boxing commentary. This is the result.

She's short, bit nippy, and pound for pound she's going to be a tough opponent. But what's next for this class act? Whatever it is, you don't want to mess with 'The Great from Yate'.

. He's a big man, but he's out of shape. A Victorian heavyweight, who knocked 'em out at an alarming weight. He could do with a bit of TV to get him back up with the big guns. LARGE!

Local boy, done good. He's a wiry, tough individual who's on the up. This post Will Self destruct in 5 seconds.

What can we say about this boy that hasn't already been said. He's tasty. He done his time in the trenches, and he's quicker than he looks.

A powerhouse, and that's a fact. Is he just a one hit wonder though. The lads got class, i'll give him that. Collossal.

No relation of Linford, she lacks real pace. She's been around the block though, with over 80 memorable knockouts. She hasn't lost her Marples yet, either.

You can't dismiss him, he's got the minerals. The TV work's been kind to him, and he's still a big draw. Got to be respected.

This boy, he's got it all. He's rangy, light on his feet...they even named a day after him. He's sure to go down as one the Greatest.But will it be Dahlly, Champion of the World?

It's a shocker he's not more famous, and his loyal fans would be up in arms, but when push comes to shove, are his best days behind him now. Prove me wrong big guy!

A lad who likes to keep his head down. Big in the 80s, but has he got the razzle-dazzle to pull the crowds in now? A crackin' left hook. TASTY!

The big man's here and he's going nowhere. A giant, a legend, he's who the crowd have been waiting for. He rarely disappoints (Titus Andronicus was his only defeat), and only a tight codpiece might slow him down.

Give him his due, this may be a step up in class for the lad, but he more can more than hold his own. He's got pace and always gives a top notch performance. IMMENSE

Stocky, bullet headed Pratchett is fearsome. He'll take no prisoners this one. Lost a bit of pace recently, but you don't want to mess.

A big man in his day. Now look at the fella. He's nippy, a trait he picked up inside. A monkey says he'll keep bouncing back though. TASTELESS!

Ernie knows the score. He's a heavy hitter who favours the right. Liable to shoot his mouth off. Likes a tipple.

The Baker Street Baptist can face up to anyone on his day. He's no mug, and when he's on song, he'll take you apart. Tasty left.

the self proclaimed 'greatest', Ellroy knows a thing or two about the business. He's been around for a while, and still draws the crowds. A big, powerful man monster.

He's huge, he's a monster, he's immense. Thing is, will he be next year. It's early days for the glamourboy Brown, so let's just sit it out and watch from the stands.

pump up the volume, 'cos here he comes, like a sledgehammer to the cranium. Claims he's a Quiet American, but don't believe a word of it. Who can stand in the way of the Power and The Glory that is the Jolly Greene Giant.

Leo the lion. A beard the like you've never seen, this is a big old bear and he's taking no prisoners. He writes like he fights, BIG TIME.

well hello, little lady. This crackerjack never lets you down. Her rabbit punch is legendary, and although she lacks a bit of pace, if you corner her she won't go down without a fight. TIGGYWINKLE!
You can now print this post out, cut out the cards and have a lovely game yourself.

4 comments:

longcat said...

you have too much time on your hands x

Kit said...

Good - but perhaps could have been two thirds the length with better effect. To answer your tweet - probably not. Sorry, Simon.

Anonymous said...

superb!

Get them on sale.

Bookeeee5 said...

Prediction for Ms. Rowling's next effeort.....

I predict she will be writing the final installment in the 39 Clues series.