Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Big Green Christmas Story (unfinished)

Simon:



A long time ago King Tim ruled the kingdom of Waterstone's (now part of HMV), there worked a young man called Simon, who worked hard and for long hours and enjoyed his job very much. He travelled far and wide selling books and spreading the good word. At the same time in the rival kingdom of Ottakars run by the Emperor James, a hard working fellow called Tim also worked long and hard spreading the good word.

As time went by King Tim adbicated and a succession of Kings tried to rules the kingdom and make it more powerful. The latest King, King Gerry plundered the land and took control of the kingdom of Ottakar's, and changed it's name to Waterstone's. And he was glad. The kingdom was big and mighty and no commision in the land could stop it.

Presently Simon moved North to a small place called Wood Green, where he met Tim. They got on very well and they spread the good word together. The townsfolk of Wood Green were glad.

The kingdom of Waterstone's was now too big to be ruled properly, and King Gerry and his advisors decided to sell off ten percent of the kingdom to ensure that the Waterstonians complied with all it's rules. One part of the kingdom they sold was Wood Green, and the townsfolk were thrown into the literary wilderness. Despite much prayer and a petition, the decision was already made, and Tim and Simon were no longer able to spread the good word.

Then, one night and angel visited them both and said to them 'fear not, for you have been chosen to give birth to a new bookshop, and it shall be called 'the Big Green Bookshop'.

Simon and Tim were sorely afraid, but had faith that this was what they had to do, and set off to bear this immaculate conncept. They first of all had to find somewhere for the birth and looked all over the town of Wood Green. They tried many places, but were turned away as rents were far to high for their humble pockets. In time they found a place and after much negotiation they secured these stable premises.

Now many miles away, booksellers were watching their stock by night, and the angel came to them and told them about the wonderful news. 'but how shall we find the shop?' they asked the angel. 'just follow the Bookseller to the Stars, and he will guide you.' the angel replied.

News of the great event travelled far and wide thanks to BLOG, the messenger angel, who told stories of how Tim and Simon were progressing. Wise men came from the many publishing empires offering the Golden Notebook, Frankenstein and Murder mysteries to the new shop at wonderful discounts.

The story isn't over yet, and Tim and Simon are heavy with shop at the moment. They hoped to have been able to bear a small Christmas treat, but the Lords of the Land had other ideas. It will happen and there will be much celebrating in North London and parties will be thrown in which all the loyal followers will be invited. In the meantime, the kingdom of Waterstone's and the other big kingdoms of Borders and WHSmith continue to reign. But there are a few villages that, despite being small, are full of happy folk who are looked after and loved, and soon there will be another one in Wood Green.

4 comments:

Lauren said...

Not getting this shop open has left you with far too much time on your hands at this yuletide, my friend.

Simon Key said...

I'd much rather be selling books, but it keeps me off the streets.
s

MarkFarley said...

I shall be your guide.

That was a great pic of you in The Bookseller, btw.

womagwriter said...

Well it made me laugh!