The Perfect Example

Simon;

This opening a bookshop thing seems to be taking forever. You may be wondering what the heckin flip we're doing. Well today pretty much sums up the kind of thing we've been trying to deal with since the beginning.
Cast your minds back (or scroll down) to just yesterday, when I said that there's a fax that'll be sent to our solicitors in the next 48 hours. OK, we were given that information on Wednesday, but I was hedging my bets. The whole story is that on Monday our solicitor faxed this document to these people for approval. They also asked for £100 as an admin charge (don't ask), which he sent at the same time. When Tim phoned them up on Wednesday he was told that the cheque had arrived and that 'the approval would be faxed back within 48 hours'.
OK, it's Friday now, and so 48 hours has passed. Tim called our solicitor (who was ill), and his secretary told him no fax had arrived. So Tim calls these people to find out where it is.
'Oh, we haven't sent it yet,
'why, pray tell' asked Tim
'well we haven't had the £100 yet. You see you have to pay an adm..'
'I WAS TOLD ON WEDNESDAY THAT YOU HAD IT'
'I don't know why you were told that,

so after speaking to supervisors etc, Tim then had to call our solicitor again to find out if there was any reference for the cheque. Two messages and 2 hours later he finally managed to get the cheque number.
He is now on the phone to these people again, trying to find out what's going on.
Before you ask, Tim did take someone's name on Wednesday, but they aren't there, of course.
Have a look at this wall


Now imagine two hairy, tired and frustrated people in North london banging their heads against it.

It's no real surprise. It's by no means the first time this has happened, but I just thought you'd like a small taster of the kind of things we're having to deal with.
Oh yeah, this approval was originally requested over 50 days ago.

It's Friday though and the sun is shining. So what the hey....


Tim;

In my youth I was fond of a bit of a head-bang..... Not so much now.... I am on hold to a large ex-building Society as I type. I have spent most of today on hold. They have possibly the worst music-on-hold that I have ever heard. I know Simon has given you the outline of the phone conversations, but I thought you might like a little less detail.

(for the purposes of this piece, I shall refer to each phone call as a Head Bang)

Head Bang 1 Wednesday. On hold for 17mins 35secs. Cheque there? Yes. Documents released? No. Please release them. OK. Total phone 35mins

Head Bang 2 Friday Am. On hold 14mins 59secs. Documents released? No. Why not? Not paid for. Paid for on Wednesday!!! Not according to records, cheque number please. Total phone 45mins 8secs

Head Bang 3 Friday Am. (to solicitors' secretary) No hold time. Cheque No please. I will call you back. Total phone 5 mins plus change.

Head Bang 4 Friday Am, 20mins later. (to solicitors' secretary) No hold time. Cheque No please. She will call you back. Total phone 2 mins plus change.

Head Bang 5 Friday Am, 20mins later. (to solicitors' secretary) No hold time. Cheque No please. She's got your file now and will call you back. Total phone 3 mins plus change.

Head Bang 6 Friday Am, 5mins later. (from solicitors' secretary) No hold time (although I was tempted to humm a few bars to her) Cheque No. Thank you. Total phone who cares not my bill.

Head Bang 7 Friday Am, 1 min later. On hold 14mins 25secs. Hello, can you hear me?. Can't hear you, will terminate call. No! No! No! Dear god. What the.... Total call 14mins 55secs.

Head Bang 7 Friday Pm. On hold 12mins 15secs. Have cheque no, please release documents. Cheque no no good, sort code please. Are you taking the.... Total phone 30mins 45secs

Brief respite from head banging to receive advice and solace from Simon. Cheque no no good, unbelievable. need sort code. Have sort code. Really. Yes.

Head Bang 8 Friday Pm. On hold 25mins 9secs. Cheque no, sort code AND account no Cheque Cleared. Release documents? Yes. How long? five working days. FIVE WORKING DAYS!?!

Soon I will discuss in detail the meaning of Customer Service. Not now as I am beating myself over the head with the keyboard. hy76 g;GHQEg